One of my colleagues is turning 50 on Monday. Two of her group members plastered a big "Over the Hill" sign across her door with a big 5-0 above it. She has to either duck under the sign, or take the sign down, to get into her office. She won't be able to ignore the sign.
I think these kinds of birthday "celebrations" are incredibly insulting. They don't really celebrate the person's birthday so much as they make the people organizing the party feel a little better about themselves at the birthday person's expense. Any money that's spent on these kinds of decorations would be better just shredded as far as I'm concerned. I don't really participate in things like this and I'd probably walk out if someone did it to me. I really wanted to tear that banner down, but I have to work with these people.
Oh well, maybe I'm just being a sourpuss but Over the Hill is just tacky. 😉
I don't normally make comments – read a lot of your posts. I think this is a very negative way to look at this. Someone has taken time and effort to make someone ELSE feel good – not themselves. if they wanted to make themselves feel good, they could send themselves some flowers. Maybe you know these people and their motives which would make me wrong about this. But, I know I appreciate it when people recognize my special day.
Just my opinion.
I think you got the point of this wrong. It seems to me that MBhunter views that banner as tacky and trying to make one feel bad about their age, not celebrating it. Age is a touchy thing with some people. Putting a sign up that says "Over the Hill" cannot be intended to be celebratory. That office might pull jokes like that and that person might laugh. We don't know.
I know my office kids around a lot with each other but many times the things put on my door make fun of my weight or my last name or compare me to people I don't like. All of that is taking, by me, as insults even though I KNOW that they mean no harm. I have had many of my co-workers to my home and no they are just yanking my chain, but yet I can't understand why they don't know me well enough to know that I feel bad by their attempts at humor. It's not like I keep it secret. I tell everyone that I don't find it funny.
It sounds like to me that you're working with the wrong kind of people. Sorry that you have to put up with that. Where I work people do things to make people feel good. I would consider looking for more uplifting co-workers. Life is too short.
And I thought 50 was the new 30…
Meh. I'm with MBH on this.
Generally speaking, I believe that we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously. However, I don't think it's my job in life to teach other people this, particularly by making them a butt of jokes.
I guess a lot depends on if these people are close colleagues or just merely people who happen to work in the same office. Most of the people that I work with would be categorized in the latter group. We don't really hang out during our breaks, and we don't hang out with each other after work. We're not rude or abrupt with each other, either. We say hello and make enquiries about each others' families, and swap stories during the day. But we're definitely not friends in any sense of that word. If those colleagues suddenly did this to me, then it would definitely be mean. It would certainly make me think about whether or not I should be working there any longer.
I've worked at other places where I've been a lot closer to my colleagues socially, and this sort of thing wouldn't have been out of place.
Even so, I have never indulged in it. Old age has plenty of indignities, I don't think I need to heap any more of them on someone. It really is somewhat demeaning to the recipient. If you truly respected a colleague who had just hit such a big milestone in age, and you genuinely wanted to make them feel better, you would sit down with them in their office or cubicle and have a chat about all the different things they've seen in their lifetime. THAT would make them feel much better and have the added benefit of maybe teaching you something about life.
Meh. I'm with MBH on this.
Generally speaking, I believe that we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously. However, I don't think it's my job in life to teach other people this, particularly by making them a butt of jokes.
I guess a lot depends on if these people are close colleagues or just merely people who happen to work in the same office. Most of the people that I work with would be categorized in the latter group. We don't really hang out during our breaks, and we don't hang out with each other after work. We're not rude or abrupt with each other, either. We say hello and make enquiries about each others' families, and swap stories during the day. But we're definitely not friends in any sense of that word. If those colleagues suddenly did this to me, then it would definitely be mean. It would certainly make me think about whether or not I should be working there any longer.
I've worked at other places where I've been a lot closer to my colleagues socially, and this sort of thing wouldn't have been out of place.
Even so, I have never indulged in it. Old age has plenty of indignities. I don't think I need to heap any more of them on someone. It really is somewhat demeaning to the recipient. If you truly respected a colleague who had just hit such a big milestone in age, and you genuinely wanted to make them feel better, you would sit down with them in their office or cubicle and have a chat about all the different things they've seen in their lifetime. THAT would make them feel much better and have the added benefit of maybe teaching you something about life. That is, if you cared to listen.
I don't know that we can read into their motivations, but I would agree that celebrations should be intended to lift each other up and should take into account the personality of the other person. It is not about the person planning in the least.
If she is the type to play those types of jokes, then maybe it is a appropriate, otherwise think of something that this person would appreciate and that celebrates their life.
I'd say it's a "it depends" moment for this, but I know if someone did it to me, I would feel special because I know they were thinking specifically of me, and took time to go out of their way to do something for me. But I don't mind jokes being played on me, within reason. I do agree that there's a fine line between a joke and cruelty though.
For my mom's 50th bday, we paid for one of those big wooden cutout things (maybe a cow or some other creature, can't remember), and 50 mini versions placed throughout the front yard. She loved it, even though it meant the entire neighborhood saw she's 50 now.