I chatted this morning with one of my wife's uncles. We've both been watching the precious metals market recently and he was the first to break the news to me that silver cracked $12. After we had chatted for a while, he said that investing in precious metals (which I had started to do a little recently) was a wise move.
He didn't remember that he told my wife (his niece) the same thing a few months ago when she rolled her eyes at the thought of investing in metals. After he told her that it probably was a pretty wise thing to do, it became a little easier for me to make the investments.
I thanked him for helping to get my wife on my side.
Money is one of the biggest sources of friction in a marriage, and investing, being closely tied to money, gets its fair share of discussions. The April 2006 issue of Money Magazine has a survey that tests how well you and your spouse know each others' thoughts about money. Our test results for the first part were mediocre, so we probably need to tune in better to each other's money frequencies (though we're much better than we once were).
And even if you're not the primary hard-core investment person in the household, getting your spouse on your side with your “investments” — translate, big purchases — is just as important in reducing friction as it is with more traditional investments.
Some ways that we've gotten on the same page with money matters (your mileage may vary, but it might not!):
- Listen. If there's resistance for a particular investment choice, ask why, and listen to the response.
- Keep decisions in the open. It's your (plural) retirement or savings goals at stake (or at least that's the hope!) so investment decisions should be known to both.
- Get outside advice. If your spouse's research just isn't enough, ask someone else whom you trust.
- Respect differences. Dissenting opinions in investment matters often can reveal blind spots in your own thinking.
For married folk: How do you handle your joint investment decisions so that both of you are somewhat satisfied with them?
I don't believe that sharing responsibility works well in every situation. Instead, the responsibility should be divided. My wife does our research. She finds investments that she feels good about. She presents me with choices or with her final recommendation to vet.
We don't invest jointly. On the other hand, we do solicit each other's opinions about virtually everything related to life. (Of course, that doesn't mean we always follow the advice we get from one another…but we try very hard to always ask.)
Perhaps we're unusual…both of us, despite being young, came into the relationship with more assets than we're likely to earn as a couple. Her inheritance from her grandfather remains _her_ money, and my business remains _my_ money.
I won't say our way will work for anybody else. But it works for us.