I've seen a couple of loans fully funded on Prosper.com to pay for very expensive engagement rings. One loan was for $4,000. And that was only for half the cost of the ring!
My wife and I were talking about her engagement ring tonight. (She was able to put it on again for the first time in a looooong while, because she's been doing much better at losing weight than I have recently. 😉 ) She had gotten many compliments about the ring. The stone wasn't a diamond; it was a man-made black opal that looks red, blue, green, orange, or gold, depending from what angle you look at it.
Fortunately for us (not just me, but us) it cost nowhere near $8,000. She gets as much credit as I do for this purchase. She didn't want a diamond. (It wasn't just me being cheap.) So a purchase that the jewelers of the world would like to be two months' salary was more like two days', roughly. (I would have thought that the jeweler's “accepted guideline” would be more ambitious, like “the sum of the limits on your credit cards.”) The fact that we didn't pay so much for our “tokens of undying love” doesn't make us any less married than we are. We didn't come into the marriage strapped financially, and we weren't saddled with an extra payment. It would have been our payment, not mine, at that point! Even if the debt were in my name, it still would affect how much we, as a couple, could spend.
For the guy who got the $4,000 loan on Prosper:
- First off, congratulations! That's a very public display of affection.
- Pay off that loan ASAP. This is consumer debt and should die a horrible death.
- Get married. $8,000 is a very expensive parting gift.
- Stay married. $8,000 is nothing compared to the cost of a divorce.
- Work hard to see eye-to-eye on finances. Lots of arguments come about because of money.
- Pay cash for further purchases of jewelry for her. If she asks you to live beyond your means for gifts, rework bullet point above.
I am of the opinion that you should accrue as little debt as possible when it comes to getting married. I bought my wife a gorgeous ring with a sensibly sized quality diamond. I went to the downtown jewelry district( a convenience of living in a big city) and negotiated a price I could afford. As the wedding approached and we had to cover certain costs (her dad wasn't going into debt either)we used a low rate card. When we got a large amount of money as gifts we paid off the debts we had gained in paying for the wedding and buying necessities like a bed and refrigerator before we bought 'toys'. This allowed our marriage start off stress free in relation to finances. Being on the same page financially is very important, my wife likes the security of having a certain amount in checking and savings at all time. We never go below that unless there is an emergency and the withdrawl is discussed. Then we make adjustments to our budget to get the money back up to that level. Not having debts makes it possible to put more into savings that would go towards debt payments otherwise.
I know I'm in the minority on this, but were I ever to get engaged, I wouldn't want a ring.
Part of it is financial; I don't wear much jewelry as it is, so I'd just as soon have the money go to other parts of the wedding or marriage.
Part of it is ethical; gems and especially diamonds often come from conflict-ridden areas, and I don't want to subsidize violence.
Most of it, though, is superficial; I don't think rings look nice on my fingers, so anything more than the band itself would be too much for me.
I agree to some extent with you, HC. I don't want a real diamond – I would feel awful, thinking about whether or not a child had to work to get it for me.
But, luckily there is an alternative: fake diamonds! Not cubic zirconia or whatever, but real diamonds made in a lab. They're much cheaper, too. Only problem is that I don't think they're widely available yet. But, no matter – I'm not engaged yet!
I want a small diamond embedded in a nice quality metal band that I NEVER have to take off. Embedded will keep it from getting snagged on stuff.
Yeah – I still want a (fake) diamond . . . someday. Sigh.
I got a chuckle out the Google ads in your sidebar for a 3 diamond engagement ring and various jewelery closeouts and auctions.
Michelle–
I've actually seen some articles about those lab diamonds. They look nice, but they tend to be canary or orange, and those aren't my colors. (Maybe they'll be offered in more colors by the time we'd need to ponder the option.)
There is something to be said about purchasing a diamond engagement ring at your local jewelry store, such as being able to bring it in and have it cleaned and inspected for free. Some people are willing to pay extra for this convenience. However it I find it troubling that some people are willing to pay way more than they can really afford and are willing to go in to debt to a level that they may have trouble paying something like that off. The first step to purchasing a diamond engagement ring should be to educate yourself about diamonds so you can make an educated decision. You can also potentially save a lot of money buying a diamond engagement ring online. A good source for learning about diamonds is located at http://www.secretdiamond.com/info/the4cs.htm
Don't get ANY engagement ring…..
save for a house or start a college fund for the
kids to come. Not planning on kids? get a jump
on retirement savings. engagement rings, like most
jewelry, are wastes of money, sorry.
Tell that to your future fiance', if you can get one.
Not sure that a large loan like that is the best way to start an engagment or marriage – you still have to pay for the wedding usually right? I know some local jewelers offer layaway, but folks should definitely keep the diamond purchase in their budget and not drown in debt. There are alternatives!