My wife, daughter, and mother-in-law have been traveling around Wyoming for a week. The stated purpose of the trip was to do some research for a sequel to her first historical fiction, but my daughter sure is learning a lot out there having a good time, too. They've been to Yellowstone National Park and a number of forts. For the rest of the trip, they'll be hitting parts of Colorado.
Me? I'm holding the fort down back home, going to work, doing things as I do them pretty much most of the time. I miss them and will be really glad when they make it home safely, but pictures, a few videos, and lots of stories are enough for me. I had no real desire to go out there, and that seems to be just fine with everyone.
Bucksome Boomer had a post on couples living apart in retirement. Some of the couples do it quite a bit, and it seems to work for them. If one likes to travel, and the other doesn't, so what? “Have fun, honey!”
Admitting this kind of thing, and even embracing it, can save a lot of stress and even a bit of money. This trip out to Wyoming cost less for the people that actually wanted to go (I don't really travel well). One less plane ticked needed to be purchased. Fewer meals out. Renting a smaller car. Plus, we didn't need to get someone to take care of our house while we were all gone. I could do some of the chores that my wife usually does (though probably not as well 🙂 ) and I could watch the dogs, which would cost us $50 per day at the kennel if we couldn't find someone to do it for less.
As far as stress level, I think it's less for everyone, including the people on the trip. My wife knows I'm looking after things, going to work, etc. From my end, I didn't need to compress my work schedule (at the time, I had a deadline approaching and taking a week off would have almost ruined the vacation for me). And — I admit it — I do like my own bed.
Forcing an everyone-goes vacation for the family isn't always necessary, and it can be counterproductive. It's not the cheapest way to relax. It may not even be the best way.
You’re right, if there’s no interest, it doesn’t make sense to go all the time. That’s kind of like going to Disneyland with someone who hates it — it just isn’t as fun. But I hope you go on family vacations at least some of the time. Being together has its benefits too 🙂
We all have to do whatever works for us. Sometimes it’s healthy for people to take separate trips (examples – girl’s weekend, or guy’s weekend in Vegas, etc).
Sounds like a great trip they’re taking, I have to say. I’d love to take my daughter to Yellowstone – heck, I want to go there! I’ve been to Yosemite, Grand Canyon, Olympic, Zion, Rocky Mountain…you get the idea. Lots of national parks. But not Yellowstone yet.
So true. There have been times when my husband and I have thought about going with one another on work trips just to get some alone time and then realize it’s just not worth it. We’d rather take the time off together and go somewhere we both want to go, rather than somewhere one of us is being forced to go!
If it works for you, that’s OK then.
For me, that would be an ideal trip, since I’ve never been to Yellowstone.
Thanks for mentioning my article. It works for us and I’m glad to know we’re not all that unusual.
I am a firm believer that everyone needs their individual time apart. Not talking a long time (though if that is what works for the relationship and the people in it, then go for it!), but a weekend here or there, a night out with friends, a trip…whatever it is that keeps your own identity.
My husband and I stayed apart for almost 5 years after marriage for work. We just started living together. If it works for you then it is OK. Both of us like to travel and I don’t like traveling alone, so we do travel together.