Ten more ways being fat costs money

A couple of days ago, I asked my fit Facebook friends for recommendations on a starter strength training plan to complement an aerobic exercise plan.  Because I'm Really Serious This Timeâ„¢ about losing weight.

When I heard the story of a North Dakota woman who was to hand out “fat letters” to obese kids instead of candy this Halloween, part of me could see the value in it (even if it would alienate some of her neighbors and give her 15 minutes of fame in a way she didn't want).  It really is an awful foundation, and most of the time a fat person fights with it their entire life.

Five years ago I gave ten ways that being fat costs money.  Here are ten more, all fresh and funky and just in time for the 2013 eating season:

• Sturdier everything.  Sturdier chairs.  Sturdier beds.  Sturdier stools, toilets, floors.  Because you never know when these will fail due to your extra mass.
• Bigger everything.  Not just bigger clothes, but more pricey things like bigger bathtubs, shower stalls, and vehicles.
• Things that you bear your weight on will wear out faster.  More weight means more stress, strain, and friction on the critical joints and moving parts.  Buying sturdier things helps (see above) but I can't think of anything that benefits from being abused more.
• Airlines can charge you for two seats.  Now there's a monster extra baggage fee.  And they don't even have to make the trip more comfortable for you!  They sometimes separate your two seats, apparently just to prove to you how little they want your fat rear-end on their planes.
• Paying people to do things.  Like roof work.  Or going up into your attic because the weight limit on the attic ladder is 250 pounds.
• Drugs.  And more drugs.  To combat all of the side effects of being fat, or even just enough to get you over the hump, should you be one of the five percent that can lose a mere 10% of their body weight, and keep it off.
• Trying one thing after another to lose weight.  People trying to lose weight will try just about anything.  One after another.  Without realizing that the common thread — the whole secret — to all of them working is burning more energy than you freakin' take in.
• Low self-esteem.  No solid evidence for this one, but I can't imagine that having a lower opinion of yourself will make you a stronger bargainer or a more savvy shopper.  You'll be doubting and second-guessing yourself a little — or a lot — more than a fit person.
• Really no kidding priced out of health insurance.  Being fat was bad for your health insurance premiums now.  But now it's downright ugly.  Insurance companies may have to take you now, but they sure as shootin' don't have to offer it at a price that any mortal human being can pay.
• Even your blasted coffin costs more.  The final insult to injury.  Heck, your heirs might even be charged more for a cremation!  When we had our dog euthanized, we saw the cremation charges.  They were based on weight.  I guess that makes sense.  Just like it takes longer to cook a bigger Thanksgiving turkey, it takes longer to get a bigger human entirely up to combustion temperature.

Now enjoy all of that leftover Halloween candy. 🙂