The March, 2006, issue of Money magazine talks about what to do when going out to dinner with someone who makes a lot more, or a lot less, than you do. It's also online:
Through Thick and Thin Wallets — Ryan D'Agostino
The main tactics the article mentions to smooth things over, if you make less:
- Be honest and say that you can't swing a $50/plate restaurant.
- Give a little or give what you can, and let the other person know ahead of time.
- Contribute in other ways that are a little time-consuming but non-monetary.
Or, if you make more:
- Sometimes, suggest burgers. Caviar isn't a necessity every time.
- Treat with a purpose so it doesn't look like a handout.
- Treat just for fun because it's a way that you can spend time with your friends.
Most of the time I go out for a bite to eat with friends we all pay our own way, so the issue doesn't even come up. Or, if it does, we usually take turns treating each other, so it evens out.
At times, though, I have experienced this discomfort a little bit. I'm not filthy rich, but I'm usually more likely to treat than I am to be treated. Even with friends that I rarely go out to dinner with, it's sometimes difficult to be graceful about taking the check because some of them absolutely insist. Others don't care, and that's just fine! What also helps is that I'm pretty easy about where I eat — usually if it doesn't eat me first, I'm good with it. I like McDonalds at times just as much as I like Zum Rheingarten, so I don't mind spending time at an inexpensive restaurant.
