I generally try to be a helpful person. I like sharing what I know, and like to think that people will share what they know in return.
In many instances, though, this sharing of information isn't returned, and my questions are left unanswered or answered misleadingly, on purpose. In sharing something of value, or talking about our expertise, I'm also tipping my hand. (This is a card-playing term; if someone isn't careful about keeping their cards tilted toward them, they may “tip their hand” and others can see what they have and use it to their advantage.) Basically, I talk too much, and end up shooting myself in the foot.
It's of course not the best move to be blatantly suspicious of everyone and not give anyone the time of day because you wonder what they meant by that. (“Dude, I just wanted to know what time it was!”) Giving freely what you know to people you trust builds relationships that can pay dividends. But being too fast and loose with your expertise or your business can backfire, because people who aren't your friends are listening and looking for opportunities to cash in.
Some examples:
- Estate auctions attract a lot of dealers and a lot of very knowledgeable collectors. They know their stuff, and they're reluctant to let on how much they know. One person won a fairly large collection of coins for a single price near the end of the auction. I saw him afterwards and said, “Got a good deal on those coins, huh?” He responded, “Eh. Who knows?” and walked away. (That's for ME to know, buddy.) Or I asked another active bidder if he had a shop, and he said, “Nah, I'm just crazy.” (Yeah, crazy like a fox.) Others I probably didn't even know were bidding! Not only do they not discuss specific purchases, they don't even let on that they're in the market. Or a dealer I went to was pretty blunt about his knowledge: “Whaddaya mean ‘How can I tell if this coin's counterfeit?' That's my advantage as a dealer!”
- Or consider bloggers. I've chatted with a number of bloggers on various levels. I'm pretty open to talking about most things but with some folks the tone changes instantly, the information I'm discussing gets really proprietary, and I sense that the conversation is unwelcome. With others, this is never a problem, because either there's more trust or the other person isn't that concerned about what I'm asking. Or I just haven't hit a hot button yet.
- Or any business, really. If your competitors, or worse, your customers, learn how you do what you do, or how much it costs you to do it, it places them in a position to either undercut you or find ways to squeeze you.
Rather than worry too much about it, these moments cause me to think about what I say about what I know, and whether I might be foolish in doing that. Why might giving my thoughts on whatever be bad?
- It exposes weaknesses. In high school I played a game of “Cat” with my math teacher (also the football coach). (“Cat” is a basketball game that's shorter than “Horse;” the object is to call, and make, shots that your opponent can't duplicate.) I said, without really thinking, “I can't do lay-ups.” And he said, “You shouldn't have said that.” I'll give you one guess what kind of shots he called.
- It gives away hard-earned knowledge. If knowledge is power, you give away some of your power each time you talk about what you know. Give too much of it away, and there's no real need to keep you around for anything except pleasant conversation. And if they don't keep you around, then you know they were using you.
- It gives competitors an advantage. This reminds me of Blake Ross, co-creator of Firefox, who just listened as a competitor discussed company strategy with a coworker in a coffee shop. Sometimes you don't even know that you're tipping your hand!
- It can give away the business. Do it too much and you'll talk yourself out of business.
On the other hand, tipping your hand once in a while keeps people interested and encourages them to return the favor. If this kicks off a mutually beneficial exchange, then some trust is built. The point is to think about it and not to do it indiscriminantly.
WRT Estate Auctions, I've had the opposite experience. Most bidders have been glad to tell you what made them bid so high (on a couple of so-so pictures, it was the frames!), and in the case of box lots, will tell you exactly what is in the box that made them take the rest of the crap in it. Furthermore, if you loose a box lot but really just wanted a different item than the winner wanted, he or she will sell it for a few bucks or even give it to you.
Maybe because I live out in the country where folks are just nicer? Who knows.
I am terrible with secrets, i just can't wait to tell someone.
Christy, I find those people, too. I've had people give me stuff out of their box lots.
Then I've had folks bid $12.50 for a whole box of books, then want to sell me the one book in the lot that I wanted for $20. I'm not making that up. His response, "That's what it's worth to me." Which I can't argue with — he could have been a dealer.
We have a LOT of dealers and a LOT of antique shops around here.
I'm a talkative sort–so I sometimes have a hard time balancing useful exchange of information and not tipping my hand. There's actually something blog-related I didn't mention in Will @ Wisebread's thread about blog planning just because I don't want people to get the jump on me. Weird that I'm now seeing blogging as a competitive business…
Mrs. Micah, I think most of blogging is not competitive at all. (Or I'd like to think so.) Seems like there's so much more to be gained by sharing and cooperating than by competing.
I normally prefer to tip my had whilst blogging, and to a certain extent at work. I think it depends on the relationships you have and whether you can make everything into a win-win opportunity.
I'm big on tipping my hand at blogging, because of how many people were kind to me when I started out, and to those who continue to help me out now. I find that I'm starting to make the transition from asking all of the questions, to now being asked some questions. Though I don't have all the answers, I love to share what I know.
In a business environment, it makes a lot of sense to hold back, especially in a competitive arena. (although I know blogging is a competitive business, find most personal finance bloggers willing to help each other out. It's a great community).
Poker on the other hand… I leave it at hints, allegations and things left unsaid.
This is always an interesting issue for writers and other creative people. You remember what it was like being a clueless newbie, and you want to "give back" the help you got along the way. At the same time, a lot of beginners are really looking for a way to skip the paying of dues.
In particular they want your connections. They want to know how to get their script to Steven Spielberg's assistant. The problem is that there is a reason SS's assistant won't read just anybody off the street. She not only wants to read a good script — those who count on her judgement wants to work with a seasoned professional, someone who knows the ropes, who understands the realities of production and the development process. (So much so, that I once read an interview by Spielberg's development person who considered a ten year veteran who had a big time agent to be a "beginner" who she had helped break in.) And that kind of seasoning actually shows up in the script — so that even if she didn't know you weren't a seasoned professional, she'd see it in the script, no matter how talented you are.
Further if I happened to know the big guy's assistant (which I don't) I would also know that I only have a very limited amount of credibility with this person. I'm not going to spend that credibility on any newbie who comes along. I wouldn't spend it on any newbie period. If the person were talented, I would probably recommend them to an agent, who's job it would be to groom them for the big time.
It doesn't necessarily help anybody to give them "trade secrets" because The Secret is to learn the trade first, and the secrets will come naturally. What helps is to guide them in how to get there from here. What's the next step?
I will give anybody private help with the next step, and everybody public help with the first step. For one thing, that's good for me. In screenwriting, anyway, you need a strong network of connections, and even if somebody is a lousy writer, they may become a development person or someone else who has access. (BTW, that IS the first step — helping other people so you have your own connections.)
The self-preservation kicks in in that I won't give anybody a short cut. In some ways I curse the number of "how to" books out there, because it has allowed enough people to look good enough to get into reading piles before they are ready, and the market is flooded with mediocre scripts. And that makes the producers shut down access to everyone.